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Home / Interviews & Articles / Uptown Girls |
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This page was last updated on 4th September 2004. Page launched on 4th September 2004. Site launched on 8th February 2004.
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INTERVIEWS & ARTICLES
Uptown Girls Mirror.co.uk, UK, 5th March 2004
Oh dear. Poorly acted, ill conceived and ruthlessly edited to the point of incomprehensibility, this tedious nonsense is a frightful mess. What kind of a film is the latest vehicle for Brittany - aren't I attractively dizzy - Murphy?
For a start, it's extremely bad. It's also, I'd hazard a guess, supposed to be a comedy. But unless you find a dim blonde girl falling over and dropping things hilarious, it's not exactly side-splitting stuff.
The most striking thing about the bizarre Uptown Girls, though, is that it's impossible to work out what the main storyline is supposed to be. All the long-suffering audience is presented with is a series of strange sub-plots, none of which rises to any kind of prominence.
At first you're lulled into the story of dead rock guitarist's trustafarian daughter Molly Gunn, who inherited so much money she has never needed to work. So it's the saga of a Manhattan good-time girl and her party, party, party existence?
Not for long. Her accountant steals her fortune, so she is forced to find her first ever job. After she is hired as a high society nanny, Molly's dire plight plunges her into contact with about the weirdest kid ever to disgrace the silver screen.
For a while it looks as though we've moved on to fallen rich kid Molly's growing emotional stature as she tries to help spookily articulate Ray Schleine (Dakota Fanning) - a morose eight-year-old girl who shares a swish apartment with her uncaring record executive mother Roma (Heather Locklear) and her comatose stroke victim father.
See what I mean? Too much going on.
Yet another storyline involves Molly's rock star boyfriend Neal, played in am-dram style by the embarrassingly inept Australian newcomer Jesse Spencer (ouch).
I reckon director Boaz Yakin attempted to squeeze so much into a single lightweight romp that, in terms of length, he ended up with an epic to rival Lawrence Of Arabia. So it's all been pared to the bone and we're left with brief snapshots of former plots consigned to the cutting room floor.
Ms Murphy is trying desperately hard to cultivate her fourth division Marilyn Monroe act.
But it won't carry a movie. Especially one as hopeless as Uptown Girls.
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